Family

Such a complicated subject. I found it interesting that in the JET video no one mentioned their family - if they came to visit, if the JETs returned to the US to visit, if they had significant others back home, if they were dating in Japan, if they had brothers and sisters, if someone back home got really sick or died. These things can happen in a year, though I am told I shouldn't think about them.

I was sitting on the swing at my grandma's house today, reminiscing about when I was a child. Children never know how good they have it until their childhood has passed them by. Amy and I were talking about it two days ago - what child sits around and thinks "wow it's great to be a kid!" Seems unfair that by the time you are able to appreciate it - it's gone. I don't know why I am talking about this really, guess I am just deep in thought. What do I do if I get to Japan and A passes away. This is likely to be the last time I ever see her again. What about my great-grandmother, or grandfather? He is turning 99 in a few days. What about my sister and dad who are undergoing surgery this summer. If something goes wrong and I'm not there for them? So many things to think about - things I shouldn't be thinking about.

I came to Tampa this weekend to celebrate my friend's birthday. She's 22 now. I spent more time with my family than I had anticipated as always happens, and I just got kind of nostalgic. I mean nothing negative in terms of my family - it's actually quite interesting how when I am away from them I forget just how much I love them. I think about all the mistakes we have made and bad paths we have taken through the years and I wonder if things would be different. Then I remember when I see them how happy I am they are who they are and I have become who I have become.

It's amazing how much this JET decision is making me reflect on my life - am how much I feel myself growing.

Still no word on placement. Of course you all will know as soon as I know. I guess there are official forums where people are gradually posting news as they find out. Maybe next week?

Love.