Life as We Know It.

Ok, so I am sorry for those people out there who have been stuck reading this blog. Lately it has turned more into a diary about my own personal journeys toward fulfillment than about my life here in Japan. Although I consider them one in the same, let me give you a bit of a bigger picture view of my life here.

I work in nine schools so it took a while but I finally have a pretty consistent schedule. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I go to elementary schools around the city. I spend a day at each one so it takes about 3 weeks to see them all. They try to keep them in the same area so for instance I have two schools in the village of Ota which is about 20 mins over a mountains range to the west from my house. I went to one school Monday then the second yesterday. I have a few schools only  minutes apart from one another in "downtown" Yamaga that I will see next week consecutively. Tuesday and Thursday I spend at my middle school. Tuesday I see the 3rd years and half the 2nd years. Thursday I hit the first years and the other half of the second years. Every elementary school is different in which students I see but most of them have me visit around 3-4 classes where they combine various grades and thus I see every student. Since all of my school except one have less than 50 students in total this works out. Yamaga elementary school, however, has about 200 students so I see half of them every time I visit.

My lessons also range because not only do the student's abilities vary but so do their teacher's styles and English abilities. Some teachers prefer I do the lesson completely independently while others like to take the lead and I work as mainly a sound-box. Neither situation is bad or good really and I just kind of jump into the flow of things however they are. I guess you can say my job is to be as flexible as possible and keep something up my sleeves for anything.

As far as actual teaching skill is concerned I believe this is something that I am going to continue to acquire as I gain experience. Hopefully I am not too terrible at it now though :-).

I love my teachers I work with and while there are some schools where I occasionally have trouble and some schools where there is ample miscommunication - frequently, I think I really lucked out here with everything. My students are a lot of fun and the elementary schoolers especially always surprise me. I have one girl, she is a first grader at a school of 24 students, who is also the daughter of a woman I work with at the middle school. She is awesome at English and is always using it whenever she can and jumping at any opportunity to touch me or learn about me. It's truly amazing and the other students are really inspired by her. So much so that school now has me going to their class regularly instead of just whenever their schedule fits me.

The students can sometimes be a hassle though too. I actually don't think I  mentioned this before but my job description clearly states that I am not allowed to play any role in the disciplining of students. Thus on the days when they misbehave I have to defer to the teacher. Sometimes this is fine - in middle school especially the teachers are quick to immediately and succinctly take care of students who misbehave. Typically publicly. Elementary school poses an entirely new problem though since I guess the there is no defined system. Some classes are well managed and the teacher holds a firm grip on the students whereas the others are out of control. One time there were no teachers at all and I was left at lunch with the students trying to make them finish their food (which was particularly gross that day) while bumbling through Japanese instructions about if they don't finish they can't go to recess. It was awful. I ended up calling in the tea lady from the office and she lectured them until she was red in the face.

Mostly though, I feel like I am only there for play - and the students know it. When I come they get a break form the everyday and we get to sing and dance while they put in 50-100% effort at using English. We read books, do sing alongs and watch movies. All for the sake of steering them away from the eventual destruction of their English confidence once they enter high school. Oh well.

In other news, training is going slow. Have to sacrifice a bit of extra training time because I need more healing than I thought I would post the 20K. I have officially three weeks until the marathon as a of Sunday and I will now only have one 35K run prior to the race. It is looking like I will be running 4K, walking 1K come race day to prevent myself from dying years before I'm due. A friend mentioned today that all I talk about when it comes to running is how much I hurt lately and she's right. But I feel like without pain there is no improvement and unfortunately I set the bar pretty high for my running abilities concerning this marathon. I just don't know if I can do it anymore but it loops back to the finish a few times before it's over - kind of like a four leaf clover actually - so if it gets too impossible I will walk until I can't walk anymore. Lol.

Also, one of my students has a crush on me and brought back a boat-load of English pamphlets from their school trip to Kyoto for me to peruse. K says I should encourage him and if he asks tell him he can be my weekday boyfriend. She even suggested some cute nicknames I could use for him in class. Poor kid. I'm only gonna break his heart. Love!

Another heavy one

Monday I was driving home from a dinner in Beppu with K and it just felt like serious talk night. We discussed our past and how coming to Japan has changed us - well in my case begun to change me. I guess I felt I needed to express to her my gratitude for getting me active in running. Perhaps I merely needed to put my own thoughts into words.

It sounds cliche but I am a firm believer in the saying “everything happens for a reason.” I am not religious by any means. I stoutly stand by my scientific values that not only does evolution happen but, it continues to shape the world. However, some things can’t be explained and despite all the terrible things that happen to people, if you change your mindset you will surely see a connection beneath it all you can learn from. I am not preaching and everyone is free to believe how they see fit, but this is some background from my side. Because of this philosophy, I have been examining the way some of my experiences have been shaped since the events leading up to my life in and prior to Japan. I was apparently stressing so much about coming here that it gave me an ulcer. I remember being so nervous for the interview that I couldn’t eat or sleep for 2 days. You can probably read about it in my earlier entries. I was also convinced I needed to be busy to function properly - which I talked about earlier as well. But despite it all, I made it to Japan and have been here for four months.

In fact, when I called the anonymous JET hotline to ask some questions I realized how good of shape I am actually in. As is routine, he asked me basic questions about my health and wellbeing before hanging up although I had called about something entirely trivial. I told him about my running habits, eating habits, study habits and work environment. He grilled me a little then finally finished our conversation by telling me ‘most other JETs around this time are feeling about 20%. The holidays are approaching, most have never been away from their families, let alone by themselves - especially during this time - and many just want to return home. They begin drinking a lot or partying a lot or hanging out only with foreigners. You’re in the best shape I have heard for a while. You seem comfortable, are living perhaps better than you did in America, and are reflecting on your life in deep and meaningful ways. Keep doing what you’re doing.” Now I am not saying any of this to brag, and clearly his pool consists mainly of people who call because they are depressed, but sometimes you need to hear things like this to help re-adjust your focus.

As crazy as it may seem, I have come to realize these are some of the best days of my life. I packed up everything into two bags and hoped on a plane to the other side of the world where I fumble through the language, am illiterate, and am working in a field for which I have no previous experience. I also got here, unpacked my bags and started training for a marathon of which I could hardly run one kilometer of when I started. Talk about stepping out of a comfort zone. Luckily, I have never been too adverse to change but as I look back, I see things couldn’t have worked out any better. If I had waited on this marathon thing, or said ‘no’ entirely, I likely would have gotten sick or depressed with my lot; but having this impossible goal has kept me out of the rut and got me squeezing exercise into my daily routine. If K had asked me on another day, I don’t think I would have said yes, because she caught me in between two periods of homesickness and loneliness. I don’t know what drove me through the grueling application and interview for this job but it has made me realize that, like shoving my stuff into two bags, I have to sift through my own mental baggage and blocks to focus on adapting to this new life. Perhaps everyone should pack up and go every 5-10 years or so. Maybe just take a sabbatical for a few months and teach in a third world country. It is effective not only for cleaning up the clutter in your home, but for cleaning the clutter in your life.

I feel cleansed. I finished a half marathon on Sunday. I had many demons and it was really hard. Some of it I walked and at 10K when I was running past the finish line knowing I still had 11K to go, I can’t lie and say I didn’t think about quitting. I mean, who would have known? I could have disappeared until my friends finished then showed up around the time I should have finished and crossed that finish line. But I couldn’t do it. When it came down to it, I just kept fighting. Even yesterday, when I was nursing sore knees and staring sadly past my students while they played soccer, I realized I had made the right decision. It was the first of many challenges I will face in mastering my own mind. It is one thing to say I feel more capable of motivating myself, but it is another thing entirely to test it. This time, I passed. Perhaps I am capable of being my own boss someday after all.

I still have a lot of challenges ahead here in Japan. And in life. But as of Sunday, I feel a little more confident in my ability to overcome them and looking back, I realize I have already overcome so much. There is nothing like talking to an old woman on a bus, or a group of teachers over dinner in another language and hearing them remark on how remarkable you are, and how much courage you have. Of course I wave them off and tell them it isn’t like that, but it stays with me and sometimes, I feel like I do have that courage. Sometimes, I feel like with the decisions I have made over the past year, like so many other JETs, I truly am remarkable. This job is so much more than a job. 

Japanese

I don't know if I have mentioned this before but knowing Japanese - even a little - has been the most amazing thing ever. Even if you don't know a lick of it, study it before you come please! Even just being able to say 'Hello!' or 'How are you?' makes people infinitely friendlier. They don't even care if you make a ton of mistakes and throw words together in an attempt to make sentences without any discernable grammar structure - as long as you're trying.

Preaching aside, I have made a lot of observations about Japan recently and I thought I would share them along with an update of my life to date. A lot of things have happened recently. I discovered Japan doesn't seem to have any discern-able HIPPA laws and thus all of the questions typically asked by nurses in the privacy of an individual waiting room are asked in front of literally a hundred of your closest neighbors. Including such gems as the poor high school girl next to me who was waiting to get an abortion and was asked by the nurse how she would like the placenta discarded. Really? Mine wasn't so bad, just people asking me when my last menstrual cycle was and the like, but still! Not to mention I had to wait in the waiting room in a wheelchair with an IV in my arm while a bunch of old people watched my mind start succumbing to the drugs and I begin to lose control of my throat.

School life has a lot of differences too. Besides taking off my shoes as soon as I get to school and when I move in and out of the gym, the bathroom, and pretty much any other room, the teachers all sit together in one big room where students can come in an out at their leisure and hover over your shoulder. I kind of like it when they some to see me since it's rare but you can see all the other teachers getting annoyed with it. The other teachers also, probably because of close proximity, always know exactly what you're doing even if you are very discreet. They are constantly reading my notes and looking at the study materials I have piled on my desk and even correcting me while I take practice exams. I tried to look up the Japanese word for nosey and have been unable to find an equivalent probably because the word just doesn't exist. Fine with me since I am nosey too and now I don't have to excuse myself for being up in people's business. :-)

They also handle some situations differently than I would expect. One of my teachers quit her job to get married and there was no fanfare or party or anything, one day she was just gone. K mentioned it is a Japanese thing to just let friendships have their time then fall by the wayside. I think I can learn from this. There are some relationships in my life that have had their time and now is the perfect time to let them go. Oh well. I still have plenty of time to learn.

Went to a party last Friday at one of my teacher-friend's houses. Her parents invited some of their friends and all got drunk while we ate a ton of food. It was delicious and I am so happy I am not allowed to drink right now because I want to remember every bit of their drunkenness. They actually asked me if there are still slaves in America! I wasn't offended or anything, more appalled by their ignorance. I vowed to do the best I could from here on out to make sure my students never suffer this kind of ignorance at my hand. Oh well. Still fun though!

I wrote another entry about the half marathon I will post in a bit so this is about all I have. I might add more later but I am running late for dinner so LOVE!

Relaxation

Usuki has a lot of foxes I guess

 So in accordance with the doctor's orders I have been trying to relax lately. I spent most of Sunday sleeping and have been even taking it a little easy on the running (mostly because the half marathon is this Sunday... but still). I did spend Saturday in Usuki though at a festival. It is the famous Takeyoi festival and they light thousands of lanterns made from carved bamboo all throughout the town. It was gorgeous!

The crazy thing was, it was also more foreigners in one concentrated place than I have seen since the Oita JET seminar in August. There had to have been more than 30 of us. The locals were freaking out and everywhere we went someone would shout "There's sooo many foreigners!" I guess I couldn't really blame them because between the alcohol and pretty colors we were damn loud. Thank goodness me and a few other people weren't drinking because we damn sure needed some crowd control. I"m afraid I don't have much in the way of other news. 

 Spent Friday night at tea ceremony learning the ancient arts of pouring tea gracefully. They want me to come back which kind of rocks so I will. It's about 5 grandma-aged women and a teacher from one of my elementary schools (who also invited me). The old ladies doted on me the whole time and sent me home with bags full of food. I was awesome! I can't wait to go back! They invited me to dress in a kimono and serve tea for the New Year's festival here because they said me bringing people tea would make them happy. Woot!

Today I also met the resident foreigner in Yamaga when she came to school to pick up her children. So nice. (No I am not just saying that because you read my blog!) Hopefully she can teach me how to battle the cold weather here so I don't freeze to death this winter. 

Tomorrow is a big seminar in Oita city and every ALT in the prefecture has to go - that's 88 of us. This will be the first time I have seen them all so I am kind of nervous. Hopefully it won't be as boring as people say :-). Well, that's all for now. Love.

The princess of the parade

All of these were made by local elementary schoolers

Takeyoi

Some of the group :-)

Doctor's world

I guess this is will be the life of my posting from here on out, at least up until the middle of December. Things have just been really busy here. On that note... I have been having stomach pain and some stomach issues for the past few months. Thought they would subside as I began adjusting to the food and the like but as of Tuesday I finally got fed up.

I decided to make a visit to the hospital. Met with a doctor and explained my symptoms in a mix of English and Japanese and he recommended I returned on Thursday (today) to get an endoscopy (they stick a camera down my throat and look around in my stomach). Turns out I have two ulcers. Yay. Doctor says it's from stress. I told him I feel more relaxed than ever then he asked how I was sleeping. I realized I wasn't sleeping well at all - and I hadn't been since I got here. He said the stress must be subconscious - probably from packing up and moving to a new country all alone - and thus caused the ulcer. Firstly - bacteria causes ulcers (Helicobacter pylori to be specific). Stress merely agitates them, but I could see his point. 

This whole endeavor showed me a lot about myself and Japan - besides the inside of my digestive tract. So let me start at the beginning of my adventure. First I was made to wait in a huge waiting room filled with old people. They called me into a strange room which was just multi-purpose room consisting of several beds and a table with shelves of supplies behind them. They asked me which arm I preferred and proceeded to start me on a saline drip. While I was waiting for them to get set-up I asked why all the supplies were labelled with the prices. Thinking this was how they tallied my bill I waited while she explained "It puts pressure on the staff to double check before making any mistakes. If we use the wrong supply it is wasted and thus the money is wasted. By knowing exactly how much everything costs we are less likely to make mistakes." What brilliant logic!

Needless to say, she still made a mistake. Shortly after getting my IV going, she realized she hadn't taken any blood from me and thus had to stab my other arm to get a few tubes. Oh well. Got into the exam room and after changing nurses, they gave me a series of instructions about what they were going to do to me next. Too many details to repeat but the important points are that they laid me down facing the screen so I would be able to see exactly where the camera was going and what the doctor was seeing. I might have thought it even more cool if I hadn't been trying really hard not to spit back up the giant tube down my throat. Gross.

Here comes the real kicker though. The doctor prescribed me the medicine, assured me I will begin to feel better in a few days and should be healed within 8 weeks. He then asked me if I knew of a certain bar. I have been there numerous times so I answered yes. He apparently has seen me there... I think he might have actually brought me a drink... Awkward. I will go back in 4 weeks but I feel better already knowing what is wrong with me. Tip for people who may need to go to a hospital though - bring money. You have to pay before you can leave - for everything. Now with standardized healthcare it doesn't cost a lot but once I walked out into the waiting room they asked me to shell out $60 right there. Thankfully it was exactly the amount of money I had in my wallet but it was terribly close and could have been real bad. Eeck. 

In other news, I got my hair cut. It's really short but I like it alright. I needed something I wouldn't have to worry about while I run and now I can just throw on my cap and call it a day. I also got a letter from my grandma this afternoon and a box of my winter stuff from my Dad. Now I should start to feel a little warmer a least since I have been freezing lately. The temps are in the 30s and 40s now dropping into the 20s at night. Eeck. 

I am going rice harvesting with my students tomorrow and I can't wait. Hopefully I will have some awesome pictures for you soon and hope everyone had a great Halloween. Love.